Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy

Chapter 226: Going to the Capital as a Beast (3)

I abruptly ended the conversation with the Mage Duchess and stood up. Of course, it wasn't the right thing to do. Professionally, it was rude of the Executive Manager to act this way towards a noble, and personally, I was ignoring a woman who loved me.

However, it was the best course of action. If I had stayed there much longer, I would have been overcome with emotion. I would have said things I'd later regret, things even I couldn't handle.

"I will make sure that Your Grace will never have to see my face again."

I had almost let something dangerous slip. Even as I rose to leave, trying to keep my words in check, my mouth was already out of control.

Swearing never to show my face again—what was I thinking? What if we had to meet again? That would be incredibly awkward.

Calm down.

I took deep breaths to steady myself as I walked away briskly, not that it helped much.

It would be a lie to say that I didn't feel betrayed. Not being angry would mean that I had no emotions. The Mage Duchess' actions were that shocking.

Still, fleeing without declaring a complete catastrophe was thanks to the tiny bit of reason left in me.

She didn’t do it out of malice.

Yes, the Mage Duchess made a mistake towards me. It wasn't even accidental; it was deliberate.

However, there was no ill intent. It wasn't to harm me or play some trick. So no matter how angry I was, thinking calmly and drawing a conclusion was the right thing to do.

"B-baby, I... I..."

"Damn it."

I let out a quiet curse as the pitiful image of the Mage Duchess calling out to me flashed in my mind.

Thinking reasonably? No malice? That was all nonsense. I was just making excuses to myself. Seeing the Mage Duchess trembling like that and looking like the world was ending softened my heart.

How maddening. I resented the person in front of me, and yet I pitied her. I felt sympathy, but I also didn't want to understand.

So, I ran away to give myself time to sort things out. Continuing the conversation in my confused state would only end badly.

...She should have told me earlier.

I sighed. If the Mage Duchess had told me about the potion beforehand, I would have been perplexed, but not furious. At least it would show that she respected my will and gave me a choice. Then, there'd be no reason for me to be angry.

The problem was that the Mage Duchess gave me the potion without saying anything. It luckily hadn't taken effect yet, but I would have unknowingly transcended humanity if the Mage Duchess hadn't confessed.

“Don't worry about that, baby. Your time will become like mine. In 40 years, you will be able to live for hundreds of years as well."

I recalled the Mage Duchess saying this proudly, almost expecting praise.

This was complicated. The Mage Duchess shouldn't have hidden it from me in the first place; or, she should have kept it a secret forever.

Is it because of a difference in race?

If the Mage Duchess thought that it was wrong, then she would have hidden it thoroughly.

From the Mage Duchess' perspective, extending my lifespan was a kind gesture. She probably thought I'd be happy.

...Of course, no matter how kind the intention was, it wasn't something to be taken lightly. This needed more thought.

***Before long, I reached a place where I could think alone.

"Master?"

"Long time no see, Butler."

That place was my mansion in the capital.

There was nowhere else to go. Returning to the academy in my current state would only worry others, and going to the Prosecutors’ Office would likely lead to me taking out my frustration on my subordinates.

So, I chose the mansion. Holing up in my room and maybe getting some sleep would help clear my head. It was already evening, so returning to the academy in the morning wouldn't be a problem.

"Today is a joyous day. I thought we wouldn’t see you until the end of the year."

The butler, initially surprised by my sudden appearance, quickly composed himself and welcomed me warmly.

"I'll prepare a meal right away."

"No, that's alright. I had something simple."

I was actually hungry, but I wasn't in the mood to eat anything.

"Understood."

The butler briefly showed a disappointed expression but quickly nodded. After all, it wasn't his place to force someone to eat if they didn't want to.

As I turned to head to my room, I added one more thing just in case.

"If any guests come looking for me, turn them away. I need to get back soon anyway."

"Yes, I will do so."

With the butler's reply, I continued walking. I needed some rest before deciding what to do next.

—Or so I thought.

"Master, Master. Master, you need to sleep now."

Yuris, whom I encountered on my way to my room, was an unexpected obstacle. There was no sign of Sophia, who usually accompanied her.

Dusting a window with a feather duster, Yuris ran over and started chatting as soon as she saw me. She asked why I was here, mentioned how two yolks came out of an egg today and said it was a sign I would come, and lamented that she would have prepared a cake if she had known.

Normally, I would have responded and played along with her a bit, but I was too tired and just nodded.

Usually, this would signal to Yuris to back off. Despite being young, she was perceptive and considerate.

"But you haven't even changed your clothes."

Today, however, she clung to me and showed no signs of leaving.

What's going on?

I glanced at Yuris. She looked up at me with bright eyes, behaving differently from usual. Did she have something to say?

"What is it? Do you have a favor to ask?"

I gently patted Yuris on the head. From a maid's perspective, the master must be the most challenging person to approach. Even though I wasn’t someone who bullied my employees, the inherent social difference alone would usually be intimidating for them.

Yet she lingered close, which likely meant she had a request. I could accommodate it as long as it wasn't too difficult.

"Master, are you troubled by something?"

"Huh?"

However, I didn't expect her to turn the question on me.

With sincere eyes, Yuris asked as if she genuinely cared. Not that there was any reason for her to ask me in the first place.

I was a bit taken aback by the sudden question.

"...Was it that obvious?"

"Very much so."

Her blunt answer made me chuckle bitterly. Even a child could see I wasn't in good shape.

If Yuris could tell, then the butler probably noticed long ago but kept silent to give me space to sort things out. Being a child, Yuris spoke her mind directly.

I continued patting her head, debating whether to brush it off or share a bit.

She's already curious.

Yuris' head moved with my hand, and she watched my mouth intently. Children tended to fixate on things, so dodging the question wouldn't work.

"Someone made a mistake towards me. I'm deciding how to handle it."

I chose to speak vaguely. It would be fine as long as I didn't go into detail. And honestly, I needed to talk to someone about it.

Besides, confiding in an ordinary maid didn't seem like a risk.

"Was it a big mistake?"

"Quite big."

"Did they do it on purpose?"

"Yes, they did."

"That's awful."

"Right?"

I smiled slightly at her words.

Yes, it was awful. Knowing what I went through and still doing it was indeed terrible.

"But if you're thinking about it, doesn't that mean you want to forgive them?"

Her comment made me pause my patting for a moment, but I resumed quickly, pretending that nothing happened.

She had a point. Deciding to calm down before making a decision meant that I didn't want to completely ruin my relationship with the Mage Duchess.

If I were truly furious and hated the Mage Duchess, I would have ended it then and there.

"Do you think so?"

"Master always said that everyone makes mistakes. If there's a reason and they sincerely apologize, it's not unforgivable."

"...Did I say that?"

"Yes!"

Seeing Yuris cheerfully shout that made me realize that she might be right.

Did I really say something like that to a child? I couldn’t quite remember.

Noticing my confused expression, Yuris smiled awkwardly and continued.

"It was when you brought Sophia and me here..."

"Oh."

I remembered now.

"Hand it over... right now! Or I'll... I'll stab you with this!"

I couldn't recall the exact moment, but I remembered meeting Yuris while surveying a post-war recovery area.

Starving and with Sophia on the verge of death, Yuris attempted to rob me with a makeshift stone axe when she saw me with bread in an alleyway.

At first, I wasn't sure what to think. I briefly wondered if it was an assassination attempt, but a young girl with a crude stone axe didn't seem like an assassin.

In the end, I let her ‘rob’ me, feeling pity for the poor children. I nearly cried when I saw Yuris feeding Sophia first, thinking how harsh the war had been for a kind child to resort to such measures.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I must have been crazy! Sophia is innocent!"

Once her hunger was sated, Yuris came to her senses and broke down in tears.

"It's okay. Everyone makes mistakes."

I had comforted her back then, saying that mistakes were forgivable if one sincerely apologized.

"You remembered that?"

"Those words changed my life."

Her giggle made me feel a bit embarrassed.

Anyone else in my place would have done the same. Yuris and Sophia’s situation was truly pitiful.

"Thank you for the advice."

After a moment of thought, I patted Yuris' head.

Yes, forgiveness was an option. I should consider it.

Of course, forgiving immediately was out of the question. For now, just controlling my anger was enough.

***Although Master said he wouldn't eat, I informed the kitchen to have some light snacks ready in case he changed his mind later.

I also checked the garden visible from Master's room and ensured that all other amenities were in order. Master’s plans to return to the Academy tomorrow were not my concern. My duty was to serve him to the best of my ability.

While I was inspecting the mansion, I received an unexpected report from the guard at the main gate.

"Who came?"

"The Mage Duchess is here."

There was a surprising guest. This mansion rarely had visitors, especially since Master was often away. Who would come knowing that he was only staying for a day?

The visitor turned out to be the Mage Duchess, a recent central figure in the capital’s buzz and someone who harbored feelings for Master.

"...Master has refused guests. Please turn her away politely."

I instinctively pondered how to handle this, but Master had clearly instructed me to refuse visitors. So, I had to turn her away.

"Butler, sir."

But the guard hesitated.

"I'm sorry, sir... But I think you should see this for yourself."

His words filled me with a sense of unease.

***I couldn't believe my eyes.

Oh my goodness.

I now understood the guard's distress. It was impressive how he managed to report it calmly.

The closer I got to the gate, the clearer the figure became. The sight of the disheveled woman, gradually becoming more distinct, was shocking.

"B-Butler!"

Seeing me approach, the guard at the gate called out hastily. Following his gaze, I met eyes with the Mage Duchess.

And I almost closed my eyes instinctively at the sight.

What is this?

The Mage Duchess was in a deplorable state. Her eyes were red and swollen; tears were streaming down her face, and her face was flushed from the cold wind.

Her long hair, trailing to the ground, was matted with dirt and debris, and her clothes were in terrible condition as if she had fallen.

Barefoot.

She was barefoot. Had she lost her shoes when she fell?

It was pitiful. If I hadn’t been told that the Mage Duchess had come, I wouldn’t have recognized her.

"Butler...?"

"Yes. I am Willes, the butler of this mansion."

Her voice trembled violently, and I instinctively bowed my head.

As I did, I noticed that she was holding something tightly.

Despite being covered in dirt, she clutched a clean comb, as if it was the only thing she couldn’t allow to get dirty.

"Butler..."

"Yes, Your Grace."

"Is your master here...?"

Seeing her in such a miserable state, I couldn’t bring myself to turn her away.

Master, what on earth have you done outside?