Depthless Hunger

Zae Zin Nim made rapid progress each week, though all of that progress would have been impossible for her not so long ago. It wasn't simply that she'd grown stronger and mastered the compression exercises... the more important change had been the opening of her mind.

She still believed that Krysali cultivation was ultimately inadequate, but now she could accept that it had something to teach her. The fact that they had to develop their cultivation based on such thin qi meant that they had developed techniques that she could use. Some cultivators who claimed that their advantage was based on superior cultivation were likely exploiting the gap of phases, so she needed an edge of her own if she wanted to confront them.

Aeglien of Torleen proved to be an interesting teacher, far superior to every Krysali cultivator she'd met before. He had a Goralian Class, but what impressed her more was that his crystals themselves seemed to be compressed. Many others built larger and larger armor of crystals, whereas he could form a thin layer so durable that it neutralized every single one of her qi attacks even though she should have been stronger.

While studying the fundamentals of phases, she realized that she finally understood Suortril's defensive prism that had caused them so much trouble: it could partially grasp a defensive phase. Such an object was nearly priceless, even if it had major weaknesses to chakra... and monstrous powers, as he'd learned before he died. But if she could compress her qi into a higher phase, she could have torn through the prism and avoided the whole war.

The majority of every day was taken up by phase training, focusing on the principles so she could compress her qi more later. In much of the time that remained, she needed to rest and so only cultivated. But that still left a precious few hours for other developments.

Most cultivators never advanced beyond E-rank Physique, unless they had a special path of body cultivation or used an elixir that purified their bodies even further. After seeing so many cultivators die, and even killing some of them herself, Zae Zin Nim had come to fully accept that this was a mistake. So, after so much difficult training outside her normal path, she had finally reached E-9 Physique.

And there she stalled, up against a wall that even many Earth Soul cultivators couldn't climb. Increasing her Physique rank would be the easiest power she could grasp, but there were so many unknowns about the Blackblood Physique. There none of the elites could help her, since they had little expertise with Cloudspire, so she seemed fated to languish.

Except... Zae Zin Nim did have access to another sort of expert. When there was a break in their training, she arranged to meet up with Omilaena.

Soon the two women met at another wasteland outpost and the elites left them alone to work. Omilaena had abandoned her usual dresses for loose pants and a shirt, and her goggles were hanging around her neck. This Omilaena always seemed so different from the seductress that Zae Zin Nim was left unsettled.

"I wanted to discuss Physique," she said, without any other greeting. "I'm... behind you and Kai, and I want to reach D-rank. Now that I reached E-9, I think I'm ready for the injections we discussed earlier. But I'm worried that I'll ruin my cultivation in some way."

"Because of the Blackblood Physique?" Omilaena looked her over thoughtfully. "Of course that's a Cloudspire technique, very cultivation-focused, so my expertise isn't of much use."

"But you just developed a specialized Physique for the Irunians! It appears in their souls as an additional benefit, just like the Blackblood Physique does for me."

"Except that you think something isn't quite right. I heard what your sect said... I don't think you'd call me here if you just wanted reassurance, so I assume you think they're correct?"

"Or at least I fear they could be." Zae Zin Nim took a deep breath and recalled those old lessons. "The Blackblood Physique is supposed to be a cursed blessing, slowing down your advancement while purifying your body and meridians. I knew that I would leave behind the illness and scars, and eventually achieve deeper reserves of qi than other cultivators. But now, I fear that I have misused it. They said that the darkness was supposed to be purged from me entirely..."

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"What have you already tried?" Omilaena asked. At least she wasn't dismissing the issue out of hand.

"Purifying the body is an essential step in cultivation. I think that I could purify out the dark blood, especially while advancing to D-rank... but that feels wrong too. I strongly believe that if I did that, I would sacrifice the 50 Power it grants me. Maybe that would give me greater power later, but I can't be sure."

"To be sure I understand, the Blackblood Physique is like a sort of temporary infection and you think it needs to be entirely eliminated once it's done its work?"

"That is how I understand it, and I fear that I have failed to do so."

"I can at least try a few things." Omilaena created a syringe and waited for Zae Zin Nim to bare her arm.

The tip was so sharp that she barely felt it, but she winced when she saw her blood look so dark. Because her skin had been perfected when she advanced to Earth Soul, it didn't ruin her complexion, yet she'd seen the real color when she took injuries. It seemed so wrong, the opposite of the jade maiden she was supposed to be...

"Nothing about this looks harmful to me." Omilaena examined the blood, with and without goggles. "The Irunians had a merger of the 'Essence' principle with their Physique. You're drawing off the 'Cultivation' principle. Mergers of two different principles seem strong to me, even though I don't understand all the effects. Why do you think it's wrong?"

"Well... I feel tainted." Zae Zin Nim rubbed one of her wrists and the delicate veins within. "Cultivation is supposed to be pure: you need perfect foundations in your dantian and body to ascend to immortality. Yet I... I don't know..."

Omilaena took off her goggles and tapped them against her thigh for several seconds before she seemed to come to a conclusion. "There's something else I could test, but I'd have to touch you to do it."

Zae Zin Nim's eyes immediately narrowed. "You wouldn't lie about that to play with me, would you?"

"I might, but not now." Omilaena's smile faltered before reaching its usual mocking form. "And not after everything we've discussed. But the way you've set up your soul, everything is so interconnected, so there isn't an alternative."

"In that case... very well. Do what you must."

"Then try to relax." Omilaena walked around behind her and Zae Zin Nim had to resist the urge to turn defensively. The other woman touched her stomach, then slid her fingers down to where Zae Zin Nim always imagined her dantian. She gasped and shivered, frozen despite the fact that there was nothing sexual about the touch. Having someone so close to her like this, she couldn't...

Eventually Omilaena pulled away, leaving Zae Zin Nim strangely breathless. She reordered her thoughts, slid her hands into her sleeves, and pushed all distractions aside. "Well?"

"I think the Blackblood Physique needs to develop in one of at least three ways," Omilaena said flatly. "I can't tell you which one is best and we probably need more data from Cloudspire to know. This state isn't doing you any harm, but trying to advance without making a decision might. You have to know yourself for this to work."

"I need to... know myself? I suppose attaining greater understanding is a principle of cultivation."

"You can't become strong by feeling pretty about yourself, but you can ruin your Physique by not understanding or embracing what you need to. I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear, but I think waiting on your Physique is the right long term decision. You should resolve all that yin chakra and learn more before advancing."

"This isn't bad news." Zae Zin Nim smiled at the other woman. "It is a relief to know I can set this aside for now. There's so much else for me to focus on."

"Glad I could help." Omilaena gave her an odd smile and then departed.

So the matter was settled: she would develop her other abilities before she worried about the Blackblood Physique. Even though the most important training was in phases, Zae Zin Nim was eager for all the rest. When Aeglien rejoined her, she turned and gave him a bow.

"Please also teach me the principles of attaining an Advanced Class," she requested.

"You're a ways off from that," Aeglien said. "You know the levels get slower and slower as you advance?"

"Yes, but I am not likely to be on Deadwaste when I reach that point. I've come to respect these abilities and I need to understand them fully in order to advance."

"Ordinarily I'd refuse, but your grasp of cultivation is extraordinary. Sure, I can teach you all the principles now. You'll need to find enough mana later, and unlike earlier awakenings, it absolutely has to be the right sort of mana. There's also a resonance problem, so..."

Zae Zin Nim listened carefully to everything he said and memorized it for later. Despite the many difficulties facing her, she was feeling optimistic about the future.

Even many top cultivators failed to advance beyond Earth Soul, because the road to Sky Soul was essentially a cliff. Now she had a pattern of stair-stepping advancements that would sustain her even during the long gap. She would finally tap into her chakra, then she would attain an Advanced Class, eventually she would purify the Blackblood Physique, and all of that would take her to Sky Soul.

And then she might finally be free.